Well, I will then

"Who will help me to disarm Saddam Hussein diplomatically?"

"I will," said the bear. "I will," said the boar. "I will," said the panda. "I will," said the frog. "I will," said the camel. "I will," said the Belgian waffle. "Good, let's go," said the eagle. "Yes, quite," said the bulldog and the koala. ("Heh heh heh," said the frog. "This does not stop us from trading arms for oil with Saddam behind the eagle's back." "Heh heh heh," said the bear and the panda.)

"Your self-serving duplicity has undermined diplomatic efforts to disarm the murderous dictator Saddam. Who will help me to disarm him by force?"

"Not I," said the bear. "Not I," said the boar. "Not I," said the panda. "Not I," said the frog. "Not I," said the camel. "Not I," said the Belgian waffle. "Well, I will then," said the eagle. "And we will help," said the bulldog and the koala.

"I have done what you said was illegal, immoral, impossible and wrong. I have disarmed the fearsome street gang that was the Iraqi dictatorial regime. Who will help me reform the Iraqi government such that Iraq's great natural wealth may benefit all of the Iraqi people?"

OOH! "I will," said the bear! "I will," said the boar! "I will," said the panda! "I will," said the frog! "I will," said the camel! "I will," said the Belgian waffle! "No you won't," said the eagle. "I have deposed the dictator. I have disarmed his goons. I have liberated the Iraqi people. And I will help them govern themselves, rebuild their economy, and conduct free and productive trade with them. The 'Animal Farm' you call the U.N. can wallow in the mud with the pigs while we share the joys of liberty and capitalism with the people of Iraq. And my friends the bulldog and the koala can help.

[It occurs to me that there may be a handful of people who don't understand the basis of this story. It is a retelling of the classic children's story, "The Little Red Hen," reprinted here.]

Posted by JohnGalt at April 6, 2003 10:22 AM